Experiences on getting things done....

I was taking stock of the things I am doing. Being a corporate trained person, I try to paint the picture of the end result- Happy Land, Point B or whatever terminology is used by the leaders to rally the teams vis the shared vision to this new state.

By taking stock, it means setting stakes in the journey to mark where we are. We are all in multiple journeys actually; our personal life, the married life, family and extended family, our non-family groups - elementary, high school, university, work, church, close friends and even professional paths which can have national or global reach.  All of these compete with the 24 hours allotted in each day and how we prioritize becomes the major challenge.

The priority which I dare claim to be the highest is the role which brings home value to the family. Alot of times this is the ‘job’. I use value instead of money as we more towards the latter years in our lives, the service to others is the ‘job’ and we utilize the earnings of the past to fund the day to day.

So that this stage of my life, the priority is no longer bringing home money for tuition, child support, mortgage and the investment build-up that 20-50 somethings concentrate on. I do still need to make sure the cashflow is coming and definitely eliminate waste, however, the things for review are more focused in other areas.

Walk with me while I do my ‘planting of stakes’:
Activity 1 - My NGO work.  I consider these high in competing for time.  There are fiduciary responsibilities and if I mess up, it can cause great harm to the organizations who have appointed me and more importantly to the staff and and stakeholders.

Each of the NGO’s have their own goals and aspirations and each have challenges unique and also with varying degrees of difficulty. It also depends on my position. In some, I am the leader. In others I share the role as a Trustee and am even a mid level chair in one Industry organization. I therefore have different levels of influence in the journey and thus I add the ‘position of influence’ factor when it comes to stake planting. The bigger my role, the larger the stake.

I also vary the shape of the stake on the organization. In executive roles, I use square shapes as it signifies a box with defined boundaries. For those where I have up and down management needed, I use triangles and for the organizations where I may lead but it is more for influence, I use a circle as all sides need to be considered.

Finally, the element of inertia.  Moving teams have their own pace. This determined the length of the journey. It may require to actually get a successor to finish it off!  There is also the concept of tenure. The are organizations whose roles are fixed in term so, when you have inertia and tenure combined, you need to look at how the journey progresses with others taking on the lead and how you fit in as a supporter.

There is a need to review the journeys regularly as things can slip through the cracks, especially if the journey is long.

Activity 2 - The Family.  Regardless of all other activities, we all go ‘home’.  My child has a family of his own, his cousins are all grown up and my wife and I with a retinue of aging helpers remain. Unfortunately, traffic is terrible, her work is near our residence and we are blessed with condos near my work which is quite a distance away. You can therefore conclude that we try our best to intersect ‘job’ and ‘presence’. Yet even with physical presence, pressures of our roles eat up on ‘quality time’. This is the season of pay back though so we maximize the present while we still have good health.

However, we need time on our own too, these are factored in.

What are the stakes here?

It is more of  Health, Fulfillment  and Patience.  How long can one last doing a full paced multiple role life. What level  of fulfillment  does one target and how long does one waits for the other. It is very difficult to eat alone, sleep in an empty bed and travel alone in a car.

The stakes therefore need to be planted together and there is no longer hierarchy. There is less of a consideration for material things, insurance becomes more important, shared experiences take priority and the grandchildren take center stage. Prayers are constant as time marches on quickly and the life expectancy calculators are a reminder of ones mortality. At this stage, it becomes a race to fit in as much as one can in a day but knowing that naps are mandatory, diet and exercise need to also be fitted in and dialogue with the spouse a necessity.

There is a point in life when you need to cut your children off for them to go on their own paths. They need to plant stakes of their own and it will be very selfish of us to think they need to watch over us in our twilight years. I truly pray that my wife and I can live by ourselves till called by God.

I have no dreams of a life without my wife. That either means I go first or it ends at the nearly the same time.

But before we get there, there are so many things I want to do in the Activity 1 part.

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